Today is not Sunday, nor is it Monday. Instead it is Tuesday. I feel SO happy. No, not happy. Happy makes me sound like this mood has an expiration date, or that it stems from one particular thing. Which it does, but I’m focusing on what it means. In the FUTURE.
I’ve mentioned my medical condition before, did you have a guess at what it was? Well, I’m going to tell you now. It’s an auto-immune system issue, residing primarily in my guts. There is IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and IBD (Irritable Bowel Disease). In IBD, there are two primary conditions – Crohns (which is understood to be the worse one and one that I don’t know much about) and Ulcerative Colitis. Whereas Crohns affects your entire digestive system, from your throat to your intestines, UC is limited to the intestines.
Now there’s some background info. I was diagnosed a year ago and had been unwell for a year before that. Alot of that time was spent doing absolutely nothing because I shut down. There’s no two ways about it; I didn’t want to do anything – I COULDN’T do anything. Many people assume because it’s to do with your gut, you’re able to just get up and continue just with more toilet breaks. It’s not. Have you ever had diarrhoea? Have you ever had it for almost a year? It tired you the fuck out. I had no energy. Later on, when it became more aggressive, I started throwing up everything I ate too. Even liquids. Even Orange Juice. Ridiculous, I know.
Once I started getting appropriate treatment, most of the symptoms went away. The only thing I really have to deal with still, is more-than-normal-fatigue and having more toilet breaks than normal. And when I say toilet breaks, I mean I have to take a shit more times than a normal person. I get that you, as a reader, may not want to read about my bowel activity and that is fine. You can click out of this. For those who are uncertain – I promise I won’t be overly-disgusting. Once you have to deal with (literal) shit in the way I do, you become very factual with it. For those you have carried on reading – thank you.
So why am I so
Well, it’s been a year since I’ve been diagnosed and a few months since I’ve gotten back to school. It hasn’t gone smoothly. I still don’t have breakfast or any food at all until I’ve gotten home. I don’t go in if I feel like I may need to go to the bathroom after a while. I sometimes come home early if I feel like I need to go to the bathroom. I’ve always been a bit funny about going to public toilets – even if it is just to pee. Taking an actual shit is out of the question.
That’s right, I pooped in a public toilet. I feel SO POWERFUL. I should note that these were optimal settings. It was a very nice bathroom. There were quite a few people in it, not packed, but enough that there was a lot of handdrying etc. going on over the light music playing. Also, my colitis wasn’t acting up AT ALL – which can result in slightly watery stools. It was perfect, or as perfect as a shit could be.
One step at a time, huh!