The last time I wrote a blog post, it was about 2 weeks into my job. It’s now been about 2 months, almost three and while my feelings haven’t completely flip-flopped, i do feel a lot better about it. I know more about how to do my job, and I know more of the people I work with.
Recently, there’s been a big change and this has been fundamental to my growing attachment to my job. When I was hired, I was put in the smallest department – the kidswear. While the department you get put into seems to be kind of random, I have since realised that this department has a reputation for having the newest and unskilled workers. Definitely not everyone, but that’s the reputation it has.
And as of the 1st January, I am no longer in that department. Hip-hip-hooray. Even better news, instead leveling up to menswear, i’ve hit the jackpot by being transferred to ladieswear. This department is the biggest and busiest. I was very intimidated at first, but I’ve since come to the realisation that this is the reason I love working there. It’s so fast-paced, and exciting to be around. Another perk is that there are more cashiers in this department, which means I don’t feel quite so lonely.
*cough cough* this is where the title comes in. There’s a boy has the same job as me. He used to be in menswear but he was transferred to ladieswear at the same time as I was. Before this, I had only had a few interactions with him, and they were very work-based. Like, only if I had to speak to him. Tbh, I got the feeling that he didn’t like me very much even though I literally had only spoken to him only 2 or 3 times.
But being in ladieswear together, sometimes we have to solve problems together (it sounds like we’re in maths or something) or one of us will need help and the other will offer it. So, we spoke to each other. Not quite friendly, but civil, you know?
Last week, (it’s only been a week?!?) we both had to stay back to help and we were both a little tired and giggly and not really in the mood for working (we both had long shifts and it was late at night ok??) and we started… talking. You know what i’m talking about. You know. Talking. Flirting a little.
And since then, we still talk. Not a lot, because our job doesn’t exactly leave a lot of time to be talking, but we do talk. And every time he starts his shift and he sees me, he says hello to me specifically and it makes me feel happy and butterfly-y. You know.
BUT, pause, the reason why I’m typing up a blog post at 2.26am. Two days ago, when his shift finished, I was going on my break and I wanted to see him but also play it cool because we’re not actually that close really. So I thought I’d go get food from Pret and as I came out of the girls locker room, he was standing in the corridor talking to another girl, facing me. And as soon as he saw me, he got this expression. I can’t remember it exactly, but my instinct said they were talking about me. I don’t know. What they could’ve been talking about. This other girl – we’ll call her Jade – is alright, I don’t know her that well but we say hi to each other and she seems friendly. I didn’t even know they knew each other.
So anyway, I have to go past them to get to Pret and as I reach them, he – I’ll call him George – jokingly/seriously asks for a hug, raises his arms and then immediately drops them. I was so confused and this definitely showed on my face. I think I may have looked confused/disgusted. And then Jade burst out laughing. I left. And I didn’t seem him again. Why. Why why why. would he do that. Why did I react like that. Everything about this situation confuses me.
So I had yesterday off and today, I had been moved to another department to cover someone the whole day. So I didn’t get to talk to him. I saw him coming to work and going on his break etc but that’s not the same at all. We were both finishing at the same time so I WAITED for him, but like in a cool way. I tried to make it seem like we had just accidentally come out the same way. Eventually I gave up and started walking and then I realised he was actually behind me. So I slowed down and he just WALKED past. WALKED PAST. WALKED PAST ME. as if he hadn’t seen me.
So he either doesn’t care enough about me to walk with me, or he actually didn’t see me (unlikely) or he does like me and he’s embarrassed about that hug thing.
How am I supposed to proceed? The other tiny thing is that he is older than me and a fully fledged adult. Unlike the author of this post, who is only a baby adult. I have the same shift as him tomorrow and then next week, I’m covering for someone in a different department the whole week so I’m almost guaranteed to not be able to see or speak to him. A whole week.