LADS! i’m on tinder

Dear Ginny,

So. about George. I haven’t seen him in a week already and I won’t be seeing him until next week and I was thinking about Valentines and about how my love life is D.O.A. and then it clicked. All two of my friends are on tinder, I SHOULD JOIN TOO!

And at first, I was being a little stiff, it’s just such a bizarre situation. It was like I was interviewing them, i’m so bad at flirting. But now I just say whatever nonsense I’m thinking and this tactic has been working really well! I’m actually talking to about 3 different guys right now.

There was also a guy early on who was SO cute and we matched. I said hi, and he unmatched me! I know it was just one guy and whatever but it really hurt my feelings lol. But then! there’s been another guy who is really so, so cute and I said that to him! (I can’t believe how bold I am sometimes) and he said THANKS and then he said i’m FUCKING GORGEOUS too. I’m still talking to him.

In conclusion: CUTE BOYS think I am cute. MULTIPLE boys. This isn’t an anomaly, this is just fact. I’m CUTE. i’m good enough for some of the cutest boys i’ve ever seen. like, cute to the point where i’d be too intimidated to be in the same room as irl. Like, I’d look away, get out of their way straight away. I hadn’t even considered that they might like me. THEY LIKE ME. I’M CUTE.

This has been a huge accidental boost to my self-esteem lol.

Love from Carter xx


update: george

Dear Ginny,

i’m back at a slightly more reasonable time to update you on the George situation. So, yesterday I had the same shift as him and I was running a little late so I couldn’t speak to him before we had to start working but I didn’t have to stress for long! I got told to open a till, the one right at the end and he was refilling something and as I walked past him, he said hello to me and waved and aaaah. I was happy. I was a little confused because I thought he was upset with me but I couldn’t care less if he was smiling at me like that.

So he got put onto a till too, nowhere near me unfortunately but at some point, he was doing something behind me and he said hello again, and I told him i thought he was avoiding me and he said “I would never” which sounds kinda sarcastic reading it but he sort of whispered it to me, he was just so sweet and ugh. Brb, melting.

And every time I would pass him, or the other way around, he would say something, make a little joke, which I thought was really sweet. Near the end of our shifts (it honestly even makes me happy to write “our”, i’m such a loser), i got put onto the till next to his and i mean, we’re busy people, busy working and so we can’t really chit chat (especially when the store is about to close) but we were sharing a stapler. And at one point, I asked for it, and he gave it to me and he touched my hand and I didn’t stop thinking about it for like an hour. I’m still thinking about it! and it’s been a day!

The happy ending to the day that I wanted was unfortunately postponed because everyone had to stay and do overtime for a bit and he somehow got out of it so he left earlier than i did.

So now it’s monday and I have to work in kidswear which is upstairs. So i’m not even working on the same floor as him. It’s only a week but still. I’ll see him tomorrow. I tried to search his name up on social media but he has like 5 names and I’m not sure which combination of names he would use on facebook etc. Does he even have facebook? I don’t know.


Love carter.


do adults have crushes?

Dear Ginny,

The last time I wrote a blog post, it was about 2 weeks into my job. It’s now been about 2 months, almost three and while my feelings haven’t completely flip-flopped, i do feel a lot better about it. I know more about how to do my job, and I know more of the people I work with.

Recently, there’s been a big change and this has been fundamental to my growing attachment to my job. When I was hired, I was put in the smallest department – the kidswear. While the department you get put into seems to be kind of random, I have since realised that this department has a reputation for having the newest and unskilled workers. Definitely not everyone, but that’s the reputation it has.

And as of the 1st January, I am no longer in that department. Hip-hip-hooray. Even better news, instead leveling up to menswear, i’ve hit the jackpot by being transferred to ladieswear. This department is the biggest and busiest. I was very intimidated at first, but I’ve since come to the realisation that this is the reason I love working there. It’s so fast-paced, and exciting to be around. Another perk is that there are more cashiers in this department, which means I don’t feel quite so lonely.

*cough cough* this is where the title comes in. There’s a boy has the same job as me. He used to be in menswear but he was transferred to ladieswear at the same time as I was. Before this, I had only had a few interactions with him, and they were very work-based. Like, only if I had to speak to him. Tbh, I got the feeling that he didn’t like me very much even though I literally had only spoken to him only 2 or 3 times.

But being in ladieswear together, sometimes we have to solve problems together (it sounds like we’re in maths or something) or one of us will need help and the other will offer it. So, we spoke to each other. Not quite friendly, but civil, you know?

Last week, (it’s only been a week?!?) we both had to stay back to help and we were both a little tired and giggly and not really in the mood for working (we both had long shifts and it was late at night ok??) and we started… talking. You know what i’m talking about. You know. Talking. Flirting a little.

And since then, we still talk. Not a lot, because our job doesn’t exactly leave a lot of time to be talking, but we do talk. And every time he starts his shift and he sees me, he says hello to me specifically and it makes me feel happy and butterfly-y. You know.

BUT, pause, the reason why I’m typing up a blog post at 2.26am. Two days ago, when his shift finished, I was going on my break and I wanted to see him but also play it cool because we’re not actually that close really. So I thought I’d go get food from Pret and as I came out of the girls locker room, he was standing in the corridor talking to another girl, facing me. And as soon as he saw me, he got this expression. I can’t remember it exactly, but my instinct said they were talking about me. I don’t know. What they could’ve been talking about. This other girl – we’ll call her Jade – is alright, I don’t know her that well but we say hi to each other and she seems friendly. I didn’t even know they knew each other.

So anyway, I have to go past them to get to Pret and as I reach them, he – I’ll call him George – jokingly/seriously asks for a hug, raises his arms and then immediately drops them. I was so confused and this definitely showed on my face. I think I may have looked confused/disgusted. And then Jade burst out laughing. I left. And I didn’t seem him again. Why. Why why why. would he do that. Why did I react like that. Everything about this situation confuses me.

So I had yesterday off and today, I had been moved to another department to cover someone the whole day. So I didn’t get to talk to him. I saw him coming to work and going on his break etc but that’s not the same at all. We were both finishing at the same time so I WAITED for him, but like in a cool way. I tried to make it seem like we had just accidentally come out the same way. Eventually I gave up and started walking and then I realised he was actually behind me. So I slowed down and he just WALKED past. WALKED PAST. WALKED PAST ME. as if he hadn’t seen me.

So he either doesn’t care enough about me to walk with me, or he actually didn’t see me (unlikely) or he does like me and he’s embarrassed about that hug thing.

How am I supposed to proceed? The other tiny thing is that he is older than me and a fully fledged adult. Unlike the author of this post, who is only a baby adult. I have the same shift as him tomorrow and then next week, I’m covering for someone in a different department the whole week so I’m almost guaranteed to not be able to see or speak to him. A whole week.


Love, Carter.

Dear Ginny,

As you might know, I finished high school a couple of months ago and have been lazing around since then (well, not really but I definitely don’t have anything to show for those months).

Well, I got a job. It’s slightly less than full-time, but a decent job. It pays quite well, by which I mean above minimum wage, and the job is mainly basic.

It sucks. I hate it. I hate it so much.

I got no training. They believe in “training on the job”. It’s ridiculous. There is nobody overlooking how I’m doing, if I know everything I need to. If a customer wants something a little more complicated, I’ll ask someone else and most times, they’ll just take over and do it because it’s always busy in the store. And this means I have no clue how to do some things. It’s kinda humiliating and some of the people are really mean.

I just can’t get over that this is my life. Working for hours and waiting for the minute I can go home and then being way too tired to do anything. It feels like I’ve jumped into something I can’t quite handle. Adult life. It sucks lol.

Love from Carter

feeling a little lost ngl

Image result for mr bean holiday

Dear Ginny,

As the title suggests, i’m lost. In life. I finished high school 2 months ago, now? What do I do? I know what I want to do. I know what I can’t.

But this post is actually about something a little smaller. A lot smaller actually. I want to watch films. This is a definite thing, I definitely want to be a (even bigger) serious film nerd. My media teacher had suggested that I make a blog, reviewing films because I had reviewed a film on this other website. So I finally took her advice and went to make a blog.

I went on wordpress first, because I like the layout and design better than blogspot. I thought I knew what url i wanted but it was taken – (isn’t that always the case?), so I tried a bunch of other urls, some of which were available but it didn’t feel right, you know? It didn’t feel like /me/.

I don’t know if my viewership (consisting currently of one person who I assumed wandered onto my blog by accident) has watched Girlboss, a netflix show about NastyGal creator Sophia Amoruso but she had a similar problem. She spent absolute ages trying to figure out something that clicked for her. She even settled for something else before she found /the one/.

I need to find my /the one/ and then you, my one-person audience, can take a look at the best side of me – in comparison to this blog, which would definitely be the worst side of me. 🙂

Catch you l8r, alligator


r u free this sat? xx

Image result for pierrot le fou

Dear Ginny,

I’m not really keeping up with what I post on this blog but I had one friend, and I’ve slowly been coming to the realisation that I don’t want to be this person’s friend. It’s not as terrible as it sounds but it’s just because we are too different, and it did get a bit weird (and never fully recovered, even as hard as I tried) after they told me they liked me. Romantically. Yeah.

Thing is, I want to go out! Not even to a club or anything slightly teenagery. I want to watch Pierrot Le Fou this Saturday (5th August), the BFI are showing it and they do £3 tickets for under 25s. And I don’t want to go with this friend who is not really a friend. Anyone in London, under-25 and want to go out? If the ticks aren’t available, we could walk around if you want? i’m poor but maybe we could find a cheap drink? idk. this is a bit weird, isn’t it? I don’t get very many views so this is definitely exactly like talking to an empty room.

I wish I could take either of my siblings but they don’t like french films and I don’t think they like me enough to go with me anyway.

Hope you’re watching more films than I am,

Love from Carter

P.S I just attached a picture because apparently that makes your blog look more professional and I’m hoping more people read this. Or any people at all.

second adult milestone, hip hip

Dear Ginny,

The first adult milestone is obviously becoming an adult. That’s done (I turned 18 an unspecified number of years ago).

Second is graduating high school! I know most people finish high school before they become adults but I did not, because of the UC (we’ve discussed this before, keep up).

I feel strange. My last exam was yesterday at which point I am officially released lol. So I’ve had some time to deal with it but also, not really, it’s only been a day. Yesterday, after my exam, I was sitting in my room, listening to music and relaxing. I didn’t really have anything to do. But then I went to check my emails, and I had an email from myself!

I haven’t discussed this on the blog before, but I use this website called It’s really simple to use (you guys should definitely use it) and the idea is that you can send an email to yourself in the future. Even 50 years in the future.

So I had this email, and the first line was “DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! YOU’RE DONE!” and I started crying! And at that moment, Simple Song by The Shins started playing and this song always reminds me of the season 8 finale episode of HIMYM, when everybody is reaching a different stage of their lives. And I BAWLED. LIKE A BABY.

I just can’t quite believe I’m in the position, that I’m actually done. I don’t know what to do. And all this freedom is so exciting, all this potential. But it’s also daunting, isn’t it?

I hope you have more purpose in life than I do lol.

Lots of love,